A dispassionate approach to asana, pranayama, and meditation reveals the true potential of what is. This morning, after a restless night of sleep/wakefulness, my old patterns hit. Wanting to repeat the victories of yesterday, clinging to what was. Fearing I’m not up for it. Fear then turns to acceptance of myself in/out of practice. Letting go of the desire to please my teacher makes room for my true self to flourish.
I am reminded of the power of the step-by-step method of teaching. Every day, the Full Primary Series, then each day an add-on to Intermediate. You must earn your postures by demonstrating that you understand the gross and subtle aspects of each. Only then are you given the next posture.
It is a mindful way of practice. Rather than rushing through to get to an imagined somewhere, you stay with what you are working through. There is a deep trust in the process – no wanting of the next one – that’s not your decision.
This practice of releasing the wanting, striving parts of the mind that are impatient and immature transforms to receiving each aspect of the practice as a gift to be cherished and let go of at the same moment.
I am now in the section of the intermediate that feels easy. The work before is detailed, tedious at times and fear evoking. A necessary passage on the journey. The storms are as important as the calm. Is only through the storms that I believe we really dig into practice. The other side feels so light.