Love from Goa
Tomorrow I will have been here two weeks. Much energy in the first week went toward figuring where things are and establishing a routine. In the second week, things begin to come together, both in practice and in daily life. I eat lunch with my guest house family most days; practicing eating with my hand. Swati patiently shows me and Papa offers me a spoon. I must look funny.
I eat a good breakfast, then have lunch around 2 pm, and a snack before bed. Swati seems to know when I am hungry before I do. She knows when I have my afternoon tea that it’s time to call me down for lunch. Mama and Papa are disappointed that I am leaving at the start of Diwali. They wanted to show me the lights, celebrations, and of course all the good food. Better planning on my part next time.
The intensity of practice seems different, partly because I have adapted to the heat and the structure, as well as feeling stronger. When I let go of any expectations I have, then I practice with less effort and more skill. Simply breathing in, breathing out, with a focus and a steadiness. We all struggle with parts of the practice, no matter how long we have been doing it. There is comfort in knowing this, which allows a relaxed attitude. I am not the only one who falls down or overshoots something. We all carry on and try again.
My body feels like it is raining. I am past sweating now. Nothing left to sweat out – simply water in, water out the raindrops.
Munna has just texted me from his hospital bed. He is starting to recover – it will be a slow process. His family is here and visiting daily. Family life is the centre of things here: interdependence and connection. A family’s struggles, joys, sorrows, and successes are met with a sense of duty, unity, and care.
I think of my family, friends, teachers, and students with appreciation and longing to see you all again soon.
With love from Goa